Anxiety

Anxiety is an emotion I am sure we all feel from time to time. Many of us struggle with anxiety on a daily basis, and sometimes it becomes such a burden that it prevents us from achieving our goals. For me, anxiety comes in waves. I do not hate anxiety, it is an emotion that changed me from being a lazy person who was often late for things, to somebody who is always on time (well, 15 minutes early at the latest because being 15 minutes early is being on time for me), anxiety is an emotion that I often relate to caring.

Over the last 3 or 4 years, I have experienced much more anxiety than I had prior to that. Most of the time my anxiety is controllable, I use it to my advantage; to help me be more productive; to help me get back on track if I was procrastinating and to help me to prioritise what is most important. I had a burst of anxiety which was negative, and was lucky enough to have support from the NHS mental health service, where I attended therapy that really helped me deal with my negative anxiety. The ‘worry tree’ will always be my saviour when things begin feel overwhelming. If you don’t know what the worry tree is, then I’d advise you research it! To put it very simply – I have a worry, can I do anything about this right now? No? Forget about it. Yes? Fix it. The worry tree helps me control my anxiety and allows me to establish the difference between negative anxiety and positive anxiety.

An example of how this helped me this morning is as follows:
I am currently making my way through the reading list I was given for Summer Institute (which starts in less than 2 weeks). As I am reading and making notes on ‘Principles of Instruction’ by Barak Rosenshine, I begin to imagine what it will be like to implement some of these practices when I am in the classroom. This is challenging as I have no prior experience in the classroom and this makes me anxious. I then begin to spiral, having that dreaded feeling that I don’t know the content I am going to teach. At this point the worry tree would kick in. “Can I do anything to ensure I am more confident with the content I am going to teach?” Yes! 100% Yes this is something I can do! Okay, great, let’s implement a plan to do this.

From other research I have carried out and theories I have looked at in relation to teaching, I know that curriculum and subject knowledge are both very important. How can you teach something you do not know? So while I am currently prioritising my Summer Institute reading list, I also need to find time to advance my curriculum and subject knowledge. Re-familiarising myself with terminology and what is expected of pupils in my Key Stage.

Like many things, I find that 9/10, my anxiety shows itself for a good reason. It pops up to say ‘Hey, it’s good that you’re prioritising doing that, but you should also be prioritising doing this.” Being able to establish the difference between positive and negative anxiety is something I constantly work at, but I feel more confident in establishing this difference everyday. The worry tree is a fantastic and simple tool that helps me to wade my way through what is good and what is bad anxiety, allowing me to use my anxiety in a positive and advantageous way.

Hope all is well.

– R